In Her Own Words: Rachel's Path to Grief Work

In 1995, while living in the state of Pennsylvania and working as a general therapist, I experienced a deep personal loss when a young man with whom I was in love died suddenly. Being a young woman at that time, I hadn’t yet experienced that kind of loss and hardly recognized my emotional and even physical reactions in my grief. I reached out to friends for support, but they too were young in life experience and couldn’t relate to me. I was lucky to have family who loved me, but quickly found that often those who love us the most have the hardest time being with our pain. I reached out to helping professionals like physicians and therapists, but found truth in the saying, “When you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail”. The physicians I saw thought medications were the answer and the therapists I saw seemed to feel most comfortable asking me to explore childhood experiences, probing for potential mental health related challenges, or just nodding and listening but little more. Both types of professionals were well intentioned. They were simply using the approach most familiar to them.

I didn’t know exactly what I needed, but I knew that what I had found from those whom I turned to, wasn’t it. I vowed that if I ever got through my grief, I would become part of the solution and devote the rest of my counseling career to providing meaningful grief support.

Drawn to the healing elements of nature as I grieved, I moved to California to be near the ocean and, after some time, again attempted to find support. In Santa Clara, California, I found a place called “The Centre for Living with Dying”. There I finally found validation that what I was experiencing in my grief was natural and not dysfunctional. I'd found a safe place where I was encouraged to express my grief and not hide it. The grief expert with whom I worked didn’t shy away from the details of my pain in grief, but encouraged me to share it. I learned how to maneuver through the dark and difficult times when they came by using a variety of new coping skills. My path to healing didn’t happen in a straight line but my pain softened and transformed, and with it, a personal and professional transformation occurred for me as well.

I left my work as a general therapist behind and joined the staff of “The Centre for Living with Dying”, where I received specialized training in grief work. Part of my role was to train the hundreds of organizational volunteers to provide grief support to others. I became as passionate about grief education as I was about grief support

Much has happened since my early grief work in California. I now live in Florida and through my work as founder of “Jacksonville Center for Grief and Loss,” provide grief support and education to individuals, couples and families.  Every type of loss qualifies. Any length of time since a loss occurred is relevant. To further support my passion for grief education, I offer both in-person and virtual trainings, seminars, and workshops. 

I am grateful for every failed, painful experience I endured along my path to get support in my grief.

Those experiences led me to where I am today.